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When you go to work and you work on a team of 5 people, do you say, ‘Oh I’m going to do my 20% share’?
I see a hell of a lot of relationships that are lacking in shared values simply because the people the relationships don’t even recognise the importance of values because they think that the attraction, sexual chemistry, common interests and the fact that they talk the nth degree out of the relationship and say they love each other is enough to sustain it. Squeezing every last drop out of you that you think is love still won’t be enough if you don’t have the bases covered off. It takes two to tango for a relationship and you are 100% responsible for yourself and 100% accountable for your own experience, but you’re also both 100% responsible for the relationship.
Note, that this doesn’t make you responsible for what they Let’s take a common problem I hear too much of: Woman plays Florence Nightingale and engages in fixing/healing/helping her ‘broken man’.
‘Oh I’ve done this, so I’ll wait for him to do that’.
You’re not being authentic – you’re doing things based on the other person not on you and you’re not being and doing wholeheartedly and you are keeping score.